The launch on Wednesday evening was absolutely fabulous - a canape and drinks do at our local Borders with speeches, flowers and lots of what one attendee described as 'loving energy'. I did my speech (albeit tearfully) and so did publisher David Lamb and Alex Comfort's son Nick.
I was particularly thrilled that so many representatives of organisations managed to make the trip up from London; thank you in particular to Peter Roach from Durex, Cath Allen from Relate, Natalia and David from Greatvine, Jhanne and Debbie from Sense, and Mishelle and Victoria from the Terence Higgins Trust.
And now, continuing the metaphor of my last blog post on Wednesday morning, following the orgasm, my team and I are in full-blown refractory mode - well at least until Monday morning when all sorts of lovely work arising out of Joy of Sex will begin again.
Watch this space...
Friday, September 12, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Today's the day!
At last, at last... in a flurry of media (Ireland, Scotland, Germany and yes the Australians) the book is launched.
Two years of effort - on my part but just as importantly on the part of my team and the publishers - has at last come to fruition. So... thank you to everyone, absolutely everyone who has been involved in the making, the development and more recently the publicity. I am truly grateful!
It's been occasionally stressful, sometimes frustrating, but largely a pure and increasing pleasure. Bit like sex itself, really...
... therefore I suppose you could say that today is the climax, the peak. The orgasm, so to speak. It certainly feels amazing!
Two years of effort - on my part but just as importantly on the part of my team and the publishers - has at last come to fruition. So... thank you to everyone, absolutely everyone who has been involved in the making, the development and more recently the publicity. I am truly grateful!
It's been occasionally stressful, sometimes frustrating, but largely a pure and increasing pleasure. Bit like sex itself, really...
... therefore I suppose you could say that today is the climax, the peak. The orgasm, so to speak. It certainly feels amazing!
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Why Joy of Sex?
Perhaps the most interesting - and at the same time frustrating - question I'm being asked right now is the "why" question. Why, in short, did I bother writing the book?
Don't get me wrong - everyone is being hugely excited and supportive. (That is, apart from the Alan Titchmarsh Show where he and his two guests just giggled like embarrassed schoolkids for five minutes - which was rather endearing seeing as their combined ages were probably more than the number of pages in the book).
But despite their enthusiasm, at some point absolutely everyone asks the 'why' question. Why does the book need a rewrite? And, why does the world need another sex book?
The answer to the first question is that it's a matter of timing. The Joy of Sex itself hasn't lost its essential appeal - telling people that they can take sex further and more pleasurably than they thought they could. But in the 36 years since publication, the science has developed enormously and the presuppositions have shifted completely. We now know about hormones, pheromones, the importance of the clitoris; we now have internet sex, teen pregnancy and the Venus Butterfly. The original was groundbreaking - but even cultural icons occasionally need a makeover.
The answer to the second question, however, is that it's a matter of common sense. My interviewers may have got sex totally sorted, but the majority of the rest of us haven't. With my agony hat on, I still get letters from thirty-something men who don't know where the clitoris is, and thirty-something women who don't realise that they need one. Plus, we have never been under more pressure to achieve in the bedroom: - to have good sex, to have more sex, to have better sex than the Joneses - despite the fact that the Joneses themselves, due to all the pressure, probably aren't having sex at all.
I passionately believe that there is still a need for a good sex book. There is still a need for a book that doesn't trivialise sex, regard it as junk food, see it in fluffy pink - a book that takes sex seriously, as a powerful and important force in our lives.
There is still a need, above all, for a book that encourages us to relax and take pleasure and show love when we make love.
There is still a need for a book that reinspires us with the joy in sex.
Don't get me wrong - everyone is being hugely excited and supportive. (That is, apart from the Alan Titchmarsh Show where he and his two guests just giggled like embarrassed schoolkids for five minutes - which was rather endearing seeing as their combined ages were probably more than the number of pages in the book).
But despite their enthusiasm, at some point absolutely everyone asks the 'why' question. Why does the book need a rewrite? And, why does the world need another sex book?
The answer to the first question is that it's a matter of timing. The Joy of Sex itself hasn't lost its essential appeal - telling people that they can take sex further and more pleasurably than they thought they could. But in the 36 years since publication, the science has developed enormously and the presuppositions have shifted completely. We now know about hormones, pheromones, the importance of the clitoris; we now have internet sex, teen pregnancy and the Venus Butterfly. The original was groundbreaking - but even cultural icons occasionally need a makeover.
The answer to the second question, however, is that it's a matter of common sense. My interviewers may have got sex totally sorted, but the majority of the rest of us haven't. With my agony hat on, I still get letters from thirty-something men who don't know where the clitoris is, and thirty-something women who don't realise that they need one. Plus, we have never been under more pressure to achieve in the bedroom: - to have good sex, to have more sex, to have better sex than the Joneses - despite the fact that the Joneses themselves, due to all the pressure, probably aren't having sex at all.
I passionately believe that there is still a need for a good sex book. There is still a need for a book that doesn't trivialise sex, regard it as junk food, see it in fluffy pink - a book that takes sex seriously, as a powerful and important force in our lives.
There is still a need, above all, for a book that encourages us to relax and take pleasure and show love when we make love.
There is still a need for a book that reinspires us with the joy in sex.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Still bubbling...
The big news on Joy of sex for today is that the antipodean campaign has kicked off. The nice lady from Hodder in Australia has started lining up interviews already for the October 1st launch: so Sydney Morning Herald yesterday, News.com today and an increasing number of radio interviews lined up for the near future.
Yesterday, I also did an interview for the Times on the latest piece of research suggesting that men might be genetically programmed to be unfaithful. I have no problem with the research - very respectably done by the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm.
What I got a little heated about was the suggestion put forward in some quarters that a genetic tendency equals an excuse. There may be sound reasons for men (and women, let's not forget) to spread their genes around, but actioning that in today's society is dictated far more by upbringing, personality and personal ethics than by a genetic imperative.
Parallel to this, you may have noticed, has been launched a book by one Gary Neuman who claims that if a man strays, it's the woman's fault. Again, excuse me? Yes, women need to work hard to make sure that relationships are healthy and happy - but so do men. And once again, however miserable a partnership, infidelity is an option not an inevitability. You do have a choice here.
As Alex Comfort originally said in Joy of Sex, and I retained in the update, "we have to find our own fidelities."
Yesterday, I also did an interview for the Times on the latest piece of research suggesting that men might be genetically programmed to be unfaithful. I have no problem with the research - very respectably done by the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm.
What I got a little heated about was the suggestion put forward in some quarters that a genetic tendency equals an excuse. There may be sound reasons for men (and women, let's not forget) to spread their genes around, but actioning that in today's society is dictated far more by upbringing, personality and personal ethics than by a genetic imperative.
Parallel to this, you may have noticed, has been launched a book by one Gary Neuman who claims that if a man strays, it's the woman's fault. Again, excuse me? Yes, women need to work hard to make sure that relationships are healthy and happy - but so do men. And once again, however miserable a partnership, infidelity is an option not an inevitability. You do have a choice here.
As Alex Comfort originally said in Joy of Sex, and I retained in the update, "we have to find our own fidelities."
Friday, August 29, 2008
What a good week...
I truly don't want to turn this blog into a celebration fest - but this has been such a fun week.
Regular readers will recall that it was The Times last Saturday, then The Sun on Monday. Then I was asked to write a piece for The Express for Wednesday. Then I was on Woman's Hour this morning doing a twohander with Brett Kahr, a lovely therapist from the Tavistock Centre. And that's not counting the Australian interviews and the Indian interviews.
Woman's Hour, unsurprisingly, was eager to look at the issues posed when a woman rewrote JOY. Did I feel that it was necessary to realign the book a female viewpoint (answer: absolutely and according to his son Nick, in 2008 Alex Comfort would have agreed). Did I get irritated at Alex for his lack of feminism (answer: for his time he was actually very pro-feminist).
The Times of India, meanwhile, wanted to know whether I'd included the Kama Sutra in the New Joy of Sex (answer: yes) and whether the western sexual tradition had a manual as old and as explicit as the KS. (answer: no of course not, did you really think we would!).
Next week, the Brazilians are ringing. I wonder what they'll ask about - sex on the beach at Ipanema? Watch this space.
Regular readers will recall that it was The Times last Saturday, then The Sun on Monday. Then I was asked to write a piece for The Express for Wednesday. Then I was on Woman's Hour this morning doing a twohander with Brett Kahr, a lovely therapist from the Tavistock Centre. And that's not counting the Australian interviews and the Indian interviews.
Woman's Hour, unsurprisingly, was eager to look at the issues posed when a woman rewrote JOY. Did I feel that it was necessary to realign the book a female viewpoint (answer: absolutely and according to his son Nick, in 2008 Alex Comfort would have agreed). Did I get irritated at Alex for his lack of feminism (answer: for his time he was actually very pro-feminist).
The Times of India, meanwhile, wanted to know whether I'd included the Kama Sutra in the New Joy of Sex (answer: yes) and whether the western sexual tradition had a manual as old and as explicit as the KS. (answer: no of course not, did you really think we would!).
Next week, the Brazilians are ringing. I wonder what they'll ask about - sex on the beach at Ipanema? Watch this space.
Monday, August 25, 2008
A tale of two features
Interesting how two very different features can reflect such very different, and yet similar views of the same topic. Or to put it another way, The Times and The Sun both do a good job.
The Times coverage of The New Joy of Sex came out on Saturday morning. It majored hugely on the social significance of the project, delved into my own background, and happily reflected the key point about the whole book: that despite the fact that sex is all around - I would argue *because* of the fact that sex is all around - we need an informed sex manual as much now as we did in 1972 when JOY was first published. (I also hugely liked the big picture of me in a punt!)
The Sun coverage came out this morning and on the surface looked utterly different. Screaming headlines, capitalised key words, lots of sexy pictures, and boxouts comparing what is "in" the new book and "out" of the first one. One might think that the points made were going to be both less subtle and less accurate. Actually no. The same message about the necessity for sexual information and resources came across just as strongly.
Aside from being a potentially useful "compare and contrast" lesson for media students, these two articles made me reflect. It's fashionable to accuse the redtops of scandal-mongering. It's almost as fashionable to sneer at the broadsheets as being merely vehicles for the chattering classes. And either paper, when writing up the material they had to work with - research, the book itself, the interview with me - could have dramatised, patronised or generally let themselves be hi-jacked by the temptation to write The Joy of Sex in an irresponsible way. It's a sex book, after all - and could have easily been fair game.
But neither paper into that trap. At the heart of each - expressed very differently but making their point just as accurately - was an extremely effective treatment of the messages I am trying to get across. So thank you to both journalists involved. You've just made a huge contribution to sex education in Britain today.
The Times coverage of The New Joy of Sex came out on Saturday morning. It majored hugely on the social significance of the project, delved into my own background, and happily reflected the key point about the whole book: that despite the fact that sex is all around - I would argue *because* of the fact that sex is all around - we need an informed sex manual as much now as we did in 1972 when JOY was first published. (I also hugely liked the big picture of me in a punt!)
The Sun coverage came out this morning and on the surface looked utterly different. Screaming headlines, capitalised key words, lots of sexy pictures, and boxouts comparing what is "in" the new book and "out" of the first one. One might think that the points made were going to be both less subtle and less accurate. Actually no. The same message about the necessity for sexual information and resources came across just as strongly.
Aside from being a potentially useful "compare and contrast" lesson for media students, these two articles made me reflect. It's fashionable to accuse the redtops of scandal-mongering. It's almost as fashionable to sneer at the broadsheets as being merely vehicles for the chattering classes. And either paper, when writing up the material they had to work with - research, the book itself, the interview with me - could have dramatised, patronised or generally let themselves be hi-jacked by the temptation to write The Joy of Sex in an irresponsible way. It's a sex book, after all - and could have easily been fair game.
But neither paper into that trap. At the heart of each - expressed very differently but making their point just as accurately - was an extremely effective treatment of the messages I am trying to get across. So thank you to both journalists involved. You've just made a huge contribution to sex education in Britain today.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Check out Body and Soul tomorrow!
Just a quick post to tell you about the very first piece of coverage of The New Joy of Sex - by the London Times.
I had great fun doing it - they sent a very accomplished interviewer up from London to spend an afternoon with me. But even more enjoyably than that, they also got a photographer to take some snaps.
Said photographer decided that it would be a great idea to shoot the whole thing on a punt, so imagine me, the photographer and a rather bemused punt chauffeur taking us round and round in circles on the River Cam just in front of King's College Chapel while the tourists floated by gawping.... Embarrassed? You could say that.
The results will be the lead interview in the Times Body and Soul supplement tomorrow Saturday 23rd August; so please do check it out.
I had great fun doing it - they sent a very accomplished interviewer up from London to spend an afternoon with me. But even more enjoyably than that, they also got a photographer to take some snaps.
Said photographer decided that it would be a great idea to shoot the whole thing on a punt, so imagine me, the photographer and a rather bemused punt chauffeur taking us round and round in circles on the River Cam just in front of King's College Chapel while the tourists floated by gawping.... Embarrassed? You could say that.
The results will be the lead interview in the Times Body and Soul supplement tomorrow Saturday 23rd August; so please do check it out.
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