Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Lust to love - what next?

We like to think we live in an age where sex can be utterly casual, no strings, no commitment. But sex is a powerful bonding mechanism, and so very often - and this goes for the lads as well as for the girls - something that started as pure pleasure turns into something much more significant and much deeper. If you find yourself falling in love with someone with whom you've agreed to have a 'casual' relationship, what should you do?
  • Be honest with yourself; don't keep on pretending you don't care when actually you do.
  • Give it space. Take the time to think things over and find out what you really feel about your partner.
  • Be honest. Tell your partner what you feel - it's only fair. If they back off, then they were a lost cause anyway.
  • If your love isn't returned, don't wobble or pressure: there's no law to say that just because you have fallen in love, your partner should too.
  • You can't make someone else love you - but you can save yourself from heartbreak. Set a time limit of - say - three months, then walk away.
  • Don't rush into more casual sex - after rejection, you'll just be that much more vulnerable to falling in love again.
  • If your love is returned, celebrate hugely. Lust that turns into love is a wonderful thing!

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