Dating Developed...

Not trying to get the sympathy vote here, but while the rest of you were enjoying the sunshine over the weekend, I was working. Not my usual round of agony and broadcasting, but a rush job with online relationships site Dating Direct, for whom I'm the Relationships Spokesperson.

Which led me on to thinking about the whole issue of internet dating and the way it's matured over the past decade. At the start, when it was all very new, it was seen as sad - and if people did it, they certainly didn't 'fess up. Then a few years ago, around the time I got involved with Dating Direct, there was a flurry of press coverage: a few reporting with amusement stories of Sarah from Chelmsford marrying Simon from Chicago because they had - gasp - met on the web, plus many more stories pointing the finger with horror at all those Sarahs or Simons whose Internet loves had proved to be someone completely other than they had claimed to be online, or to be after something completely other than marriage...

Fast forward to today and spot the shift. Yes,there are still horror stories in the press - and of course I am in no way condoning Internet exploitation. But contacting potential partners over the web is now so normal that it doesn't merit even the middle pages of the Daily Whatever, and the amount of outrage over Internet dating scandals is noticeably down too.

What's happened? I venture to suggest that we're learning. We've realised, as we use the Internet more and more, that - like real life dating - it has its customs, its rules, its ups and its downs, but what we need to do is to work that. Outraged of Worthing is no longer throwing a wobblie because the man she chatted to online doesn't propose to her the minute they meet up, because she's realised that it's unrealistic to expect him to do so. Broken-hearted of Wallasey is no longer writing devastated letters to me because the woman he chatted up online has suddenly decided that he's not the one for her, because he now knows that, well, these things happen.

We - or almost all of us bar the very young and the very inexperienced - now understand that the Internet creates an atmosphere of excitement and anticipation that can undermine our realism. We now understand that going to meet someone we have met online may feel like getting together with an old friend but that - as with any sight-unseen blind date - it is in reality getting to know a stranger. We aregrowing up, learning the ropes, exploring the boundaries - and as we get the hang of the system, we are making fewer and fewer mistakes and gaining more and more appreciation of what Internet dating has to offer; a huge range of possibilities; the chance to get to know someone much more deeply than normal pubbing or clubbing would allow; a clear statement on both sides of what the agenda is. In our fragmented society, where all the traditional methods of meeting, falling for and pairing up with partners are increasingly impossible, the Internet is a wonderful solution. Despite the early press coverage, Simon from Chicago and Sarah from Chelmsford were not an aberration - but the way forward.

In short, considering how very recently Internet dating was born and has grown up, I am delighted to see how quickly and how rewardingly it's come of age. And no, I'm not just saying that because I work for them...