Joy coming home to roost...

I've spent, in my role as Joy of Sex spokeswoman, the last six months talking about sex - to journalists, TV presenters, radio hosts. And the one thing they always ask me is how things have changed since the book was first published 37 years ago. Typically I list the scientific changes, the rise of the Internet... and eventually come round to the fact that in 1972 there was an atmosphere - how can I put this - of naive optimism.

The orignal book reflected those times, those heady, postpill, sexual-revolution times when (to paraphrase Alex Comfort) a sexually transmitted infection was seen as slightly less problematic than a dose of flue, and infidelity was seen as par for the course.We look back now and wince...

And wincing is very much on the menu this week as reports come through of a sharp rise in sexual cancers in the wake of said revolution. The study, from King's College London, points out that the rate of cancers triggered by the HPV virus have rocketted since the Swinging Sixties and Seventies. And we all know why.

I was there - and contrary to the cliche, I remember it! Thank heaven I was informed and sensible enough to keep my sexual contacts safe and loving - but that wasn't the norm. We genuinely thought that if we were on the pill we were safe from all harm - and that meant we could play without protection. And it is deeply sad that we are now paying the price for our ignorance.

But let's remember that it was ignorance - and let's steer clear of the moralising about those times that is already appearing in the popular press. Please don't blame us. We weren't evil, we weren't immoral, we didnt' set out to have orgies. We were young and hormonally fuelled - and most importantly we just didn't know how dangerous it could be to have sex.

Now society knows, and is much more wary (though interestingly of course, it is this very generation that still doesn't quite realise that they are in danger - the 40+ cohort is currently the one where STI rates are rising highest.) And that in itself is sad.

Because, for all the illness, all the abuse, all the unhappiness that unconsidered sex can cause. we still need to remember that - safely and happily done - sex is wonderful, wonderful, wonderful!

Back from the US

Well, I'm back! And the answer to the questions I posed before departure (will I say the right things... will I do the right things... will everyone be able to understand my exotic British accent) is apparently Yes.

To take the last one, I was surprised and delighted at the response to my Britishiness. The exact comment from one TV producer - echoed by many more - was "The word "masturbation" in a Texan accent sounds dirty; in a British accent it sounds decent. We love it!". So there you go...

On a more serious note, I was delighted at the response - the amazing publishers have sold their initial print run of 30,000 copies of the book and are currently ordering in more; it's only been out three weeks.

Just as nice, the interviewers were supportive, the phone-in clients enthusiastic. I had been worried - warned from all directions - that a US audience might be wary. Seems not - lots of phone calls offering congratulations on covering the topic, lots of phone calls asking upfront questions of the kind that you only rarely get this side of the pond.

Only one regret... I was asked to do Oprah (yessss....) but at the last moment got bumped; the amazing "plane-landing-in-the-Hudson" story was just too big.

Back down to earth now and focussing on the British launch of the next two follow-on books - Joy of Sex Romantic Lover and Joy of Sex Adventurous Lover. The Yanks are still ringing me though and there are few things in the pipeline; I may have to swim the Pond again very soon. Can't wait!

Off to the USA...

Just a quick postcard as I set off for the next round of publicity for Joy of Sex. This time it's in the States. No, don't get jealous - though it is fun to be flying off to the Big Apple, what will happen when I get there is a relentless circus of appearances and jet lag. All worthwhile, all helpful to the book, but tiring nevertheless.

Justina from Crown, who is publishing my book, has been working hard. As a result, I've been lucky enough to get two slots on the Today programme (The Big Early Morning Show) and a slot on Nightline (The Big Late Night News Show), plus a whole slew of national and regional TV, radio and website interviews and some interesting meetings with production companies and sex toy manufacturers.

I have to admit to a little trepidation; will I say the right things, will I do the right things, and will everyone be able to understand my exotic British accent? But hey, if you don't have the adventures, then you've never lived.

More to come, on my return....

Back to real life... and contraceptive choices

There's very little to beat the great feeling when you press "send" on a piece of work - well, very little you can do with your clothes on, anyway. Today I got my high from submitting my latest manuscript - Weekend Lover, you may remember - and winging it off to the publishers. I'm still amazed at how many different activities one can do in the course of an erotic weekend - and all of them legal!

In the meantime, in among the final mansucript checks of a sex book I've been keeping an eye on the 'real life' elements of sex and following today's "pill scare". No, not a horror story of hormonal side-effects, but a panic in some quarters that now women will be able to get the contraceptive pill from their local pharmacist, the country is going to go to rack and ruin.

Stepping aside from that particular argument as being intractable - the sex education lobby and the abstinence lobby come from such totally different moral viewpoints that it often feels like reversing through porridge to even try to reconcile - I'd like to comment instead on whether having easier access to the pill will help the pregnancy rates.

I can't fault the arguments that easier (and just as safe) access to the pill is going to help women take greater charge of their contraception. Of course if something is more widely available it will be more widely used. And all the practicalities affecting contraceptive choice are clear - women use it more if it's easier, less intrusive, more effective, safe, spontaneous, reversible.

But I don't think those are the only elements in play here. What I'm seeing in my postbag are much more subtle influences that affect choice - particularly female choice. In short, I think we underestimate the role of values in creating this problem.

Because it's not just whether a woman can get to the GP surgery that dictates whether she uses contraception or not. It's far more complicated than that. Under the practicalities are a whole slew of emotionally laden reasons why women choose to protect - or not - against conception.

Is contraception feminine ? (if she believes that a woman's main role in life is baby-making, the answer may be no).

Does it negatively influence the way she looks (if the pill makes her put on weight, the answer could be yes)

Does it reflect her friends' choices? (if all her friends are getting pregnant, she'll want to as well)

Does it please her partner? (if he wants condom free, or hates her taking the pill, what is she to do) ?

Does it allow for passion? (the pill and the coil do, the condom and the cap don't)

Does it make her feel good about herself - and make other people feel good about her? (if she believes that having a baby will make her worthwhile, where's her motivation to use contraception?)

All these are amorphous elements... but I believe they are crucial in forming women's choices. Bottom line, the vast majority of sex education today presupposes that women who say they don't want to have children will therefore want to use contraception - and the only issue is making that contraception available.

I disagree - I think many women out there are incongruent about the whole issue. They don't use contraception because it cuts across their core values.

And until we truly take that into account in sex education, in sexual health programmes and in contraceptive consultations, then all the open pharmacies in the world won't dent those pregnancy figures...

Cheap. And cheerful.

I was delighted today to read the survey - published on World Aids Day - by the Terence Higgins Trust that suggests that sex is the most popular free activity, and that given the credit crunch people are doing it more and more.

You might think my delight is simply because I write books like the Joy of Sex and want people to buy them. But though yes, the thought did cross my mind that one man's credit crunch might mean my expanded royalty cheque, nevertheless that wasn't my main reason for celebration.

I celebrate because - given safe sex, which of course was the Terence Higgins Trust message - I see little else to beat the activity of getting and giving pleasure. More cholesterol reducing than food, less likely to cause vomiting than alcohol, and much less likely to cause death than smoking. And that's beside the fact that regular sex keeps you trim, boosts your immune system, helps beat depression and raises self esteem. What's not to like?

Maybe I'm naif, but when it comes to having a joyful time, I think sex should be top of everyone's Christmas list.

Back again...

... so where was I? Oh yes, in my last blog post I was in full flood about the Joy of Sex post-launch publicity and had just started doing the Jim Davis show regularly, with its accompanying challenges of explaining masturbation live on air.

So, a few weeks later - where does the time go when you're enjoying yourself - life has been incredibly busy and even more enjoyable. Wonderfully, the post-launch publicity for JOY is *still* going - last week I was signing books on the Lovehoney stand at the Erotica Show, and yesterday I did an interview about the book for a German magazine.

My copresenting role alongside Jim Davis - our slot is now called "Sex in the City" - is going from strength to strength. This week we're focussing on World Aids Day, interviewing Justin Gaffney from the UK Network of Sex Work Projects, as well as taking all the many, and increasingly fascinating, calls.

Alongside all that, the first and second books in the follow-up series to Joy of Sex have just arrived back from the printers. Entitled The Romantic Lover and The Adventurous Lover, they are gorgeous - tiny hardbacks, pocket-sized, in elegant shades of cream, bronze and gold with stunning erotic photos slipped in to illustrate my text. Yummy! (In the shops in time for Valentine's Day 2009, in case you're interested.)

And, I'm just finishing up the third follow-up book, which is about dirty weekends. Research, collation, draft and editing in eight weeks; this morning's job is to blend into the edited version all the information I gathered from the Erotica Show. Did you know that you can book an entire S&M suite for a weekend including bed, breakfast and dungeon... variations include a four-poster bondage bed with a cage underneath.

What a strange and fascinating job I do...

Explaining masturbation on worldwide radio...

The slight gap in communication, folks, has been down to a wonderful amount of work coming out of the launch of Joy of Sex. But today being Sunday, I thought I'd bring things up to date.

There've been more interviews... of course. And more follow-up features. Plus a rather intriguing possible trip to the US in the offing; more detail on that later.

And an appearance at the Cambridge Union, debating "This house calls for a new sexual revolution.". Great fun, and a real feeling of speaking to the next generation of policy makers and governmental leaders; I only hope that when they get into office in a decade or so, they remember my call for more sex education in schools...

I've also, following my 'Joy of Sex special" for LBC a few weeks ago, been invited to appear weekly from now on, doing a double-hander with the wonderful Jim Davis. We really do work well together, fielding such disparate subjects as "I'm Christian and gay", "My new man's ex fell pregnant just before they split", "I come too soon" (a man) and "I've never come" (a woman).

This last involved me giving the listener an on-air step-by-step guide of how to bring herself to climax; one of those wonderful moments when I find myself thinking "I can't believe they pay me for this." On the other hand, most people who have talked to me about that particular programme segment have said that they couldn't do it even if they were paid...

Flippancy apart, I love doing the Jim Davis show and am utterly delighted that they've asked me to do the weekly slot. The phone calls, texts and emails pile up into their hundreds; the calls come from as far away as New York; we are obviously providing a key service - and my only regret is that we can't cover more in the two hours allotted.

If you want to catch the programme, it's every Friday night from 22:00 until midnight, on 97.3FM. And you can find the accompanying blog - written by me this week - here.